If I had the medicine....

I've wanted to steer clear of that word "love" for awhile. Mostly, because I couldn't find it deep inside of me to know what I believe. In the words of Ray LaMontagne "Still don't know what love means". But I have figured out where I stand on this word and where my heart lies.
I've been the cynical one. I know that path well. I've had the conversations with friends who like me have lost hope in this whole idea. When you see people around you throw in the towel and give up, and when you reflect on your own life, the bruises you carry that still show up to remind you of that word, its connotation is beyond negative, it's something to be avoided at all costs.
But I have finally figured out what I believe, and it didn't hit me like a ton of bricks I always knew it was deep inside somewhere and this beautiful thing called "time" has brought it out.
So this is the course I will remain on. Love-I believe in it, but more than that I hope in it. Daily.
It's more than a fairytale way of thinking. It's being completley conscious of the reality around you. But the great collision happens when you're not controlled by the external circumstances but by the internal belief. If you look for it around, and hope for it people you may be disappointed. There are people I can look at and say that is "the real thing" and there are people I look at and say "wow, no thanks". But my belief doesn't rest in the people who do it well, and the people who don't. Love comes from God, therefore because of my relationship with Him the belief comes from inside of me. It becomes if you will a God-given way of thinking. To know it still exists. It's still there, and it's still coming for you. What is belief? it is the confident assurance what what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see (Hebrews 11:1) I've come more than a long way, and am still coming around, but I know belief is the first and might be all I need to not lose heart, to not lose love.

If I had the medicine, I'd give you the medicine!-JMM